Strawberry Overdose!

So cheap and juicy!

Regina Spektor sings, “Hey remember that time when you OD’ed? Hey remember that other when you OD’ed for the second time?” in her song “That Time.”

It’s a great song, and while I know she was talking about drugs, I can’t help but relate right now. Because I totally OD’ed on strawberries, and a part of me knew I was going to.

I’ve had an inkling for a while that the three times a week rule is more of a ballpark. Sometimes, I can get away with 4-5 times. And sometimes, 1-2. It depends on the food. Strawberries, it seems, are more of a 1-2 time food.

I ate about 5 strawberry cherry muffins early this week, and I used about 6 strawberries for the batch of 10. So that’s like 3 strawberries, over the course of 4 days. Not a lot, but a lot of times. Today, on my drive home from work, I wanted sugar so I had some freeze dried strawberries. One handful, fine. Two handfuls, fine. Third handful, verging on mediocre and I thought, “Hey, I think I’m overdosing.” But then, like a drug addict, I guess, I got hungry and wanted more and decided I was invincible. So handful number four, and it was like FIRE in my mouth. I feel hives on my tongue. It’s unlike most of my allergic reactions, because it’s not swelling per se, but it feels exactly like a hive only on the back of my tongue, not my skin.

I had one more to see if I was crazy and of course the hive flared back up. So yes, I am crazy, but probably for experimenting. While driving. Um, clouded allergy judgement anyone? (I was safe, though, hives just hurt they aren’t like fatal or anything, and I knew I wasn’t at risk for anaphylaxis, just discomfort. Sure it was dumb, but I promise it was not as dumb as it seems).

I then decided to do what any normal person does. Stop to pick up dry cleaning that’s been waiting at the cleaner’s for over a couple of weeks. There’s something about proving to myself that I’m not sick that makes me really want to do chores. I bet that these days, if I had an anaphylactic reaction, I’d consider cleaning my apartment before using my Epipen. I’m motivated by stubbornness and control issues. You can’t stop me, I say!

Anyway, as I climbed the stairs to the cleaner (4 steps), I noticed I was not as spry as I usually am. That confirmed this reaction. This burning on my tongue is not a hallucination, it’s not insanity, it’s not psychosomatic, it’s a real reaction. And since I am not allergic to strawberries, it must be an overdose.

I’m Cindy, and I overdosed on strawberries. But hey. I also finally picked up my dry cleaning.


Excuse me, but are these strawberries organic?

There are some things I absolutely never thought I’d do or say.  Among them?  Asking a man in Whole Foods where the organic strawberries were.

I’ve always thought organic food was a load of crap.  I come from the Penn and Teller school of thought, that organic doesn’t make it better for you or taste better.  And it doesn’t mean pesticide-free, it just means free from some pesticides.  It’s not necessarily better for humanity or the world at large.  It’s mostly just better for Whole Foods and people who like to make money.

And yet…

Yesterday, my doctor told me I have to go through another 30-day period where I only eat certain foods, as I’m hypersensitive still.  (Remember the ER debacle from a week or so ago?  Turns out the likeliest cause was horseradish in the fridge cross contaminating the apple I was eating, and my body is just overreacting to things.  It’s like my body has decided to be a 15 year old girl whose boyfriend didn’t call her back or meet her at the mall or whatever).  So a part of my new and improved diet is to eat the organic versions of the fruits and vegetables on my list, and still peel them.

Suddenly, I’m the bitch in Whole Foods who buys quinoa and ancient beans from Mayan times and dried pineapple and organic strawberries.  And absolutely no processed foods, heaven forbid.  I threw in some Iceland water in my grocery purchase just to a)continue with the theme of regular things like tap water not being good enough for mankind b)support the water that supported me as a child (have no fear, we’ll get to that story) and c)start a trend for the other Whole Foods shoppers who love their raw foods and organic lifestyles.

There’s a lesson somewhere in here along the lines of don’t bite the hand that feeds you (literally?) but I can’t quite get there, because there’s such a large part of me thinking, “Really, Cinds?  Organic fruit from Whole Foods? Try not to hang any tapestries from your wall and/or invest in Birkenstocks and a Prius.”